Camino de Santiago (the why)


850 kilometres.


A month of walking.


The load on the back, the snoring pilgrims, the copious amounts of sweat, pain and blisters.


Why do this? Was it worth it?


I have a friend who told me that when she got back from the Camino she noticed herself responding differently to situations. A subconscious shift took place. I felt the same at times; I am not sure what has changed but I sense it. You live through a minor earthquake and although something shifted below you, it can be difficult to find the words to describe what has happened. In this hour of reflection, I will attempt to scratch the surface.
 
On this walk I found myself experiencing nearly every type of emotion I have felt in my life. For instance, if I have felt jealousy, love, beauty, or anger in my past it resurfaced on the Camino, triggered by fellow walkers. This gave me the opportunity for deep issues to surface and to carry out necessary soul work.


I learned much about reaching goals, flexibility and present moment living. We all know the idiom, “the joy is in the journey,” and since it is idiom, it has truth. The city of Santiago de Compostela mattered less and less, while the desire to live in the present moment became more important. Each day it became my practice to see how I could live the present moment. For example, at times I had pain in my body and wanted so badly to reach the planned destination for the day. My feet, my back and my shoulder asked for this often. I had to slow the brain down, shift over to a different type of thinking and see the beauty around me. It was an effective way to change perspective.


I recognized that each moment is fading and that although it is a scary proposition, I accepted it. I was up above the clouds on the Camino Primitivo and wanted those moments to last forever. I wished I could bottle up that feeling and take a drink of this moonshine every now and again. Through conversation I was challenged to hold these moments with an open hand, a loose grasp.


I was challenged on my notion of feeling fully alive. In the past I would describe this as a euphoric state, filled with the deep connections to nature and community. Yet what does one do about the negative feelings of sadness, anger and loneliness. Are these to be felt deeply as well? Do they not make us human? I began to realize more deeply that these feelings are also impermanent. All things will fade.

I met folks who were generous souls. They challenged me not only in my way of thinking but in my way of being. What does it mean to give of my possessions, of my energies, of my very self? What is the fear within me that prevents me from being generous? These probing questions will continue to guide me through the next period of my life.


The birds, oh the birds! Their chorus, cheery and bright on even a grey morning, filled the forest with their song. The young colts and calves born only a few weeks before were still trying to find their long, wobbly legs beneath them. The expectancy of Spring was in the air.

In conclusion, when the river gets rough there are times when we need to grip our paddle tightly and ride it through. Conversely, there are other scenarios when we need to steer our craft out into an eddy, repair the boat, look at the map, eat some food and prepare ourselves for the uncharted waters ahead.



Comments

Popular Posts