Some gifts come in strange packages

Traditionally, we receive gifts on specific days: Christmas, birthdays, baby/wedding showers, and valentines; however, if we are lucky we will get gifts on days when we least expect it. These gifts are surprising and fill us with a different kind of excitement. They come not only at unusual times, but with strange packaging. I recently received one of these gifts.

About three weeks ago I sprained my ankle on a hike in Bulgaria. Since then it has been a frustrating time of slow movements with my foot propped up in bed on several days. Over time my mind began a walk down a garden path towards a rather undesirable destination, namely, the desert of depression. I hobbled over to a nearby park to think and pray. 

I did not understand why this had happened. I had felt compelled to go on this trip from Europe to Asia and now my ankle was holding me back. I wafted in my mind between the victim mentality and an anxiety about the future. Maybe I would not be able to go trekking in Central Asia and Nepal. Was it time to go back to Canada even though I felt that I had not accomplished what I had set out to do? I stared at the grass in the park. I felt like the stray dog in the park beside me: laying in the park with no place to go.  

Later that evening, when I was not expecting it, I had a moment of clarity. Sister Wisdom stopped by for a visit. At times in my life, I wish she would speak up with a strong and clear voice, but as I have come to know her, I have learned to be appreciative of her approach. She has a strong character. Her words are few, her voice is steady and her truth commands respect. I want to build a deeper relationship with Wisdom, but it takes effort on my part to put away the distractions of the 21st Century and to simply be still. The moment she spoke was like a deep breath of cold air on a snowy winter's day.

Wisdom reminded me of what I had learned on the Camino de Santiago. On that long walk we were all working our way towards a destination, namely the city Santiago de Compostela. The more I walked that path the more I came to an understanding that this end goal was not the purpose; it became nearly irrelevant. It was the present moment, the sharing of life together, and the deep soul work that motivated us on our journey.

After the Camino in Spain I spent time in the Netherlands with family, biking around the countryside and pondering what to do next. There were several options that I could have pursued, but one badgered me and would not let me go. The vision came to me in words: 

 To walk in beauty. To live the present moments. Then to tell the stories.

There was also a tangible aspect to this vision. It is what gave me a sense of drive and got me off the couch so to speak. The dream was to hike in the high hills and mountain passes of Central Asia and Nepal.

Wisdom revealed that the peripheral / tangible goal had become my main concern and I had confused it for le raison d'etre of my voyage. I needed to come back to that initial vision. I realized I could do this with an injured ankle. 

I lay back in my bed that night and thanked Sister Wisdom for stopping by. I was grateful for her to allow me to learn through the pain of injury and misplaced dreams. There are times we all get lost on the path and an earlier lesson in life came back to me in my dreams. 

When you are lost go back to the last place where you knew you were found. In other words, when you feel lost emotionally or spiritually go back to the time when you knew your passion, vocation, and calling. Keep following that guiding voice and principle until the next steps are revealed.

Who knows what the future will hold. Perhaps I will catch a ride with a yak in Central Asia. 

Stranger things have happened.